


It's hard to be John

by Cattary



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, Romance, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-18
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 18:11:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/689960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cattary/pseuds/Cattary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Sherlock, it's not fair. JW'</p><p>'There is too little fairness in the world. SH'</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's hard to be John

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of John and Sherlock's texting history C: Hope you'll enjoy!

'Sherlock, it's not fair. JW'

'There is too little fairness in the world. SH'

'Why me?.. JW'

'Why you what - shadowing tonight? SH'

'No, why was I the one Stamford met that day in Barts(? JW'

'That was a rhetorical question, I suppose? And stop using parentheses - it's annoying. SH'

'What in the world doesn't annoy you?.. JW'

'And how would you know what intonation I'm using to write? JW'

'Intonation is used for speaking, John, not writing. Besides I know perfectly well that you rolled your eyes. SH'

'And once more. SH'

'And, with probability more that 85%, once more. SH'

'Since you're so omniscient, tell me why the hell do you need me to stick around here late at night? JW'

'You are detective's assistant. That is your job - to stick around, as you say, where I can't. SH'

'I don't think it's going to give you anything. JW'

'I thought we had this secret understanding - in our tandem I'm the one who thinks. SH'

'You're an ass. JW'

'It doesn't affect my genius. SH'

'You're an arrogant ass, after all. JW'

'Are we going to exchange mutual insults? What is it - fifth form? SH'

'You started it. JW'

'Oh, I've jumped to conclusions. It's obviously third form. And I didn't start anything, I just stated the fact. SH'

'Sherlock, he's been sitting like that for like an hour. I'm cold and hungry. JW'

'Can't help you. SH'

'What are you doing anyway? JW'

'I was reading a book when you started texting me every two minutes. SH'

'Oh, please, forgive me, Your Highness, I'm just standing here knee-deep in the snowdrift and have nothing else to do. JW'

'You could text to Mandy. SH'

'You mean Andy? JW'

'What happened to Mandy? SH'

'There was no Mandy. There was Andy. JW'

'Save the details. SH'

'You're the one who asked! JW'

'I asked about Mandy. SH'

'There was no Mandy! ANDY! JW'

'I'm not interested in Andy. SH'

'Are you interested in Mandy then? JW'

'What Mandy? SH'

'Sherlock, do you know what I'm doing right now? JW'

'Perfectly well. Would you mind keep watching? SH'

'I hate you. JW'

'Right now? SH'

'Yes. There is hoarfrost in my hair. What will you do if I catch cold? JW'

'But you're a doctor. SH'

'So? JW'

'In our tandem you're the doctor, I'm the thinker. SH'

'And what do you think? JW'

'I think if you catch cold you will distract me with your annoying questions twice as much. SH'

'You're a pig, Sherlock. JW'

'Are we back in the third form? I'm going to bed if so. SH'

'Sherlock, it's 1 a.m.!!! JW'

'Yes, perfect time to get some sleep and regain some vigour. SH'

'And what about me? JW'

'Do you want to sleep? SH'

'I want a steaming mug of tea with honey, and to punch you in the face. JW'

'I don't think it's a good idea. Aren't you allergic to honey? SH'

'Who cares, I'd much more prefer to punch you anyway. JW'

'Boring. What about the object? SH'

'Changing the topic then... He's siiting at the table, drinking whiskey. Wait a minute, I didn't know Greg could afford such an expensive bottle. It's worth about 100 pounds... JW'

'Indeed, he can't. What whiskey exactly is he drinking? SH'

'Looks like Tullamore Dew. JW'

'Simplicity itself. SH'

'What? JW'

'Oh, wait... What is Mycroft doing in this area so late at night? JW'

'You'll see in a minute. SH'

'Nooooo... No way... JW'

'What's happening there? SH'

'I cannot believe you've missed it of your own free will. JW'

'And why is that? SH'

'Such an opportunity to gibe at your brother. Can't believe you didn't want to look at it with your own eyes. JW'

'I'm not interested in Mycroft and his personal life. SH'

'Great. Then what the hell am I doing here? JW'

'Small amendment. I'm not that much interested in Mycroft and his personal life to "stick" at night in front of the restaurant. SH'

'Even if we talk about a date of the British government with Lestrade? JW'

'And what about it? So it's a date. You said it's fine. SH'

'OK, that's it. My feet are frostbitten. I'm going home until more sensitive area isn't damaged. Hope you've got everything you need. JW'

'Not quite. But you can go home. SH'

'Oh, thank you, milord, you are so kind! JW'

'Sarcasm? SH'

'And how do you think? JW'

'Under the circumstances it seems to be sarcasm. SH'

'You ARE a genius! SARCASM. JW'

'Why? Stating the obvious. SH'

'And stop typing swearwords. Just describe this date. SH'

'I'll definitely punch you when I get home. A simple date - romantic atmosphere, candles, flowers on the table, Greg wearing his finest suit, Mycroft, as usual, with his umbrella. JW'

'They looked... pretty happy together. Who'd think. JW'

'Opposites attract, John. You should know. SH'

'Well, yes, but Greg was married! JW'

'Was' is the key word here. SH'

'I thought he's interested in women. JW'

'Are you saying you think that nowadays if a man was initially attrated to women, he could never be attarcted to a man? SH'

'Now you want me to think? Didn't you say thinking was only your privilege? JW'

'It is. But I decided everything long ago. Now I want to know your unbiased opinion. SH'

'Well, I think everything is possible. And it looks like inspector and your brother prove it. JW'

'Besides, I've never seen such a happy smile on Mycroft's face. JW'

'I hope I'll never see it. It would definitely turn my stomach. SH'

'Be tolerant, Sherlock. Mycroft's obviously happy. I'm sure he'd wish the same for you. JW'

'You mean, he'd want for me to have romantic dates with the man who could make me happy? SH'

'It doesn't have to be a man. But wait, is there someone? Don't tell me you made me shadow Lestrade 'cause you have some unresolved feelings for him! JW'

'Don't be rediculous. Where are you? SH'

'Almost home. Will be in two minutes. JW'

'Good. I've opened the door for you, so don't wake Mrs. Hudson with the sound of your keys. SH'

'Suspiciously thoughtful of you. JW'

'It's not. I just don't want her to wake up. SH'

'Then I won't turn on the lights in the hall. JW'

'Good idea, John. Where are you now? SH'

'I'm at the door. Can you ask questions when I'm actually at home? JW'

'Are you going upstairs? SH'

'Yes. JW'

'Good. SH'

'Are you there yet? SH'

'Sherlock, why is the table set and there are candles on it?.. JW'

'According to what you said about my brother's date with Lestrade I figured that candles and flowers can be used to create romantic atmosphere. I've found the candles but we don't have any flowers. SH'

'Where are you? JW'

'In my room. SH'

'And why are you still there? JW'

'You promised to punch me in the face, didn't you? That would ruin the atmosphere. SH'

'Your cooking will do that anyway... What is this green stuff in the plate? JW'

'Rice with vegetables. SH'

'Why is it green? JW'

'Nevermind, though. JW'

'Does Angelo work 24h? JW'

'No, but I know where he keeps the spare key and frozen lasagnes. SH'

'Let's go. But I won't wear a suit! JW'

'That's fine, I think I'll come to terms with your striped sweaters. SH'


End file.
